Allowances and Money

four hands holding a dollar bill

We are raising our children in a time when over one billion advertising dollars are spent per year targeting the adolescent consumer (Escape). How do we help teens understand the responsible use and value of money when they are surrounded by so many messages about “having it all”?

One mother expressed it this way: “Giving our children ‘everything’ might more accurately mean giving them a clear understanding of the world in which they live. It might mean arming them with the skill to make conscious purchases and the ability to determine the difference between wants and needs. By doing this, we give them something of security in an insecure world” (Swenson).

Giving teens an allowance is an effective way to teach them about using money wisely.

Let Children Make Mistakes

Allowing children to make choices with their money——including poor choices—gives them the opportunity to learn realities concerning the use of money. Giving teens an allowance provides excellent opportunities for teaching: The choices are real, and the consequences emerge naturally from their decisions.    
Parenting experts suggest we never insist that children save money from their allowance. It is good for them to learn the benefits of saving, but forced savings plans don't allow them to make that decision on their own. In fact, to help them learn life lessons we're encouraged to “allow children to spend, save, give, or waste the money any way they see fit” (253).    
In fact, psychologists Cline and Fay remind us, “It is much better for a twelve-year-old to go bankrupt than it is for a twenty-seven-year-old whose first baby is on the way” (252)

Keep Allowance Separate from Chores.

Many parenting experts agree that “children do not earn their allowances” (Cline & Fay 252). This means that chores are simply an expectation for those living in your home, and the allowance is separate from work or behavior.    
Chores beyond the usual expectation can be paid for. (Having a child who's saving for something is a boon to a weary parent—especially where housekeeping or yard work is concerned.)

Be Consistent and Reasonable

Allowances should be given at a consistent time each week, and policies and expectations should be consistent. Cline and Fay say, “when it's gone, it's gone” ; there shouldn't be advances on future allowance.    
Cline and Fay also suggest, “A teen's allowance should be enough to cover most regular activities, but not much more than that” (253).    
Parents should provide for weekly activities, as well as expenses such as birthday presents for relatives and friends, field trips, and similar needs. The rest is up to the child.

man and girl smiling

“If you need to, make a list of what you as the parent will cover when needed (school clothes, a place to live, meals, etc.) and the rest (concert tickets; that new jacket that is so cool; the latest, smallest, handheld portable music player; the latest, greatest video game,etc.) is [the teen's] responsibility to cover out of their allowance or the money they earn on their own” (Cline & Fay 253).

boy looking at an abacus

Teaching our children how to master their spending and understand the importance of living strictly within their means is a lesson of love. One mother wrote, “Showing the most love has nothing to do with the glamour of excess consumerism” (Swenson).

Letting children have an allowance that they use in any way they see fit (yes, even on that expensive pair of shoes that looks just like the cheaper pair) is a personal, real-world way to help them learn about money.

Sources

Cline, Foster, and Jim Fay. Parenting Teens with Love and Logic. USA: Pinion Press, 2006.    
Escape from Affluenza. Produced by Vivia Boe and John de Graaf. A co-production of KCTS and John de Graaf. KCTS Seattle. 19 Jul. 1998.    
Swenson, Mary Ann. “Showing the Most Love: One Mother's Perspective on Financial Planning.” Unpublished article.